Elfreda Eriksen

The Dream "Riding on the crest of a wave"



Posted: Saturday, November 01, 2008

by

I had a dream that I was riding on the crest of a wave, surfing through life with ease, breathing fresh air in my lungs, warmth of the sun against my face and the gentle breeze directing my forward path. I was the weightless figure upon the surface of the water with not a care in the world but to live each day with joy, one day rolling into the next, seamlessly.

I had a dream that it would last forever. That I would never lack the waves' support; the tide would never turn. But nature had its way…

I had a dream that gravitational forces pulled me down, the sea engulfing my mind and body.  I was fighting to keep my head above the waves as they drew me deeper towards the earth's crust. And as I struggled back up to the surface again, I realized that all would not be the same for a long time. That I had lost trust with nature.  That I could not rely on nature's consistency and that there was more to life, or less to it, than riding on the crest of a wave.


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Top-level comments on this article: (4 total)
» left by Phil Stutt
 3 years 90 days ago.
Elfreda,
 
I love your writing. Thank you so much for all your articles.
 
Phil
» left by Sandra E. Graham
from Paragould, AR USA 3 years 42 days ago.
247 fans.
Elfreda, that was so beautiful. I'm wishing you a Merry Christmas and may God be with you and yours during this Holiday Season.
 
Sandra
» left by David Pekrul
 2 years 267 days ago.
66 fans.
Yes, this is great prose. It express a thought by painting a great picture. It's a very nice read.

I do have a suggestion, however, with the way it is placed on the page. Bear in mind that this is only my suggestion, not any type of rule, and you may just simply ignore my idea if you wish. When I write prose, which is not often, as I find it difficult to do, I like to start a new line wherever there is punctuation; at a comma or other punctuation and at a period. Sometimes even in the middle of a long sentence. As an example in your article:

"I was the weightless figure upon the surface of the water
with not a care in the world but to live each day with joy,
one day rolling into the next,
seamlessly."

It may be just me, but I find that by doing that, I think it emphasizes each thought, makes the reader ponder on each one. Just an idea; take it for what it's worth. But do keep writing prose; you're very good at it.
» left by Elfreda Eriksen 2 years 267 days ago.
10 fans.
David,
 
This is extremely good advice and it certainly improves the effect of the writing no end. I am going to spend some time editing my prose and taking what you have suggested on board very seriously.
 
It's great that you have taken the time to read it and your support is invaluable.
 
Thanks so much David.
 
Elfreda
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